On the 25th of July 2020 I reached a personal milestone of mine that I would have considered impossible to achieve five years ago. I managed go without alcohol for six months (183 days). When I thought about my alcohol consumption since I turned 18, I could not think of a time where I abstained from alcohol for longer than three months. I had read about celebrities who had drastically reduced their alcohol consumption, but I never considered that I could do the same thing, until now.
Before I get too far into this blog, I want to clarify my former level of alcohol consumption. Back when I used to drink, I was more of a social drinker and I did not typically drink during the weekdays. A big night for me would be about 6 drinks. I never had the constitution to drink large amounts of alcohol. Nights like these only occurred during University breaks and when I knew I could let my hair down.
The overindulgence of alcohol has not interfered with my studies, work or spilled over into other areas of my life. The only time I experienced hangovers were on days when I had no prior commitments. I have always had the power to stop drinking when I chose to, plus I did not really have the income to support a greater consumption of alcohol before I started working full time.
My addiction to alcohol is on the lower end of the spectrum of alcohol addiction. We all experience addiction of some sort, and to deny this fact is to place ourselves above human nature. My desire for change does not come from a place of crippling addiction, but rather, a desire to live my best possible life. I reached a point where I had to make a choice.
Should my money go towards a temporary state of mind that alcohol provides, or should it go towards new experiences with my family and lifestyle enhancing products?
With this clarification out of the way, let us go back to a question that you might be asking yourself. So how did I manage to achieve this personal goal of mine? Well I did not achieve it overnight. Just like a smoker trying to quit for the first time, I have failed in my attempts to go past three months without drinking. Going without something that gives you pleasure is hard, but with the right strategies, it is possible to do. All you need is the desire to start the process of reducing your alcohol consumption.
Finally I will add a little disclaimer of mine, if you are struggling with alcohol addiction and it has interfered with the different areas of your life, then please seek professional help as this advice is general in nature.
CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT
One of the best ways to reduce your alcohol consumption is to actively change your environment.
So what do I mean by this?
My wife’s Oma, bless her soul, regularly gives Alexandra a bottle of Brown Brother’s Rose Moscato every time she visits; however, my wife and I have not had the heart to tell her that we are currently abstaining from alcohol.
To tell her otherwise would break her stern but loving German heart.
Previously we kept our alcohol in the fridge, but since we aren’t drinking, we have been putting all of our bottles downstairs in the garage. So far, we are up to 26 bottles of wine and 12 cans of beer. This action of ours is what James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, refers to as environmental design. By adding friction, which is to make the behaviour of drinking difficult to engage in, we are giving ourselves, our future selves who might want to drink after work, the best possible chance of success.
If you want to break a bad habit or behaviour, then you need to make it exceedingly difficult or down right impossible to engage in said behaviour.
If my wife and I felt like a drink, then we would have to:
Go downstairs to the garage
Bring the bottle back up the stairs
Put the bottle in the fridge
Wait for the bottle to chill
Sounds like a lot of work doesn’t it? We could go even further and give away the alcohol; however, we like the idea of using Oma’s bottles of wine as a metric of our non drinking behaviour.
As the saying goes. Out of sight, out of mind.
SET BOUNDARIES WITH ALCOHOL
If you still want to drink alcohol but you’d like to drink less, then setting firm boundaries about when you drink, where you drink and how much you drink will go a long way towards reducing your alcohol consumption.
I first began to set boundaries for my alcohol consumption when I turned 19. While out with friends, I established the habit of having a small glass of water between drinks. I did cop some flak from my mates with this new habit, however, I wasn't the one waking up with a crippling hangover (at least some of the time).
Some other boundaries you might want to set could include:
Only drink on weekends
Limit yourself to 1-2 drinks
Only drink socially, never alone
Once you have decided on your boundaries, and you're serious about committing to them, then one of the best things that you can do to support yourself is to write them down and place these boundaries in a location where you will see them every day. By doing something as simple as writing things down and looking at them every day, you are actively reinforcing a desired behaviour that you want to establish.
Starting small with goals like these can give you the confidence boost that you need if you were to consider abstaining from alcohol for a longer period of time.
TRY ABSTAINING FROM ALCOHOL FOR A LONGER PERIOD OF TIME
I distinctly remember my last period of abstinence from drinking and how I broke the streak. It was down South at Margaret River. All of my family had made the trip down to my parents’ holiday home during the Easter Holidays of 2016. My family and I spent about a week down there and everyone had been drinking each night for the past four days. On the 5th day I ended up breaking my three-month streak and accepting a glass of champagne.
I'd never felt cravings like that before and such an experience worried me. This event got me thinking about the following question for the first time. “Was I in control of the alcohol or was the alcohol in control of me?” Unfortunately, in this situation it felt like the latter. Such an experience felt deeply unsettling to me. How could my cravings for alcohol influence my behaviour? Prior to reaching six months without alcohol, I usually participated in dry July and I would occasionally have a sober term. While I was able to channel enough will power to give up alcohol for a month or a term, I still found myself craving a drink at the end of these dry spells.
While I did fail the drinking test when I was with my family during the Easter Holidays, this experience opened my eyes to how I craved alcohol. This also brings me to another point, without going through this experience and attempting to give up alcohol for a longer period of time, I might not have been in the situation where I was able to give up alcohol for six months. I consider these smaller stints of abstinence to be the building blocks towards my current level of success.
SERIOUSLY THINK ABOUT YOUR ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION
If you are thinking of reducing your alcohol consumption, then you need to take stock of how much money you are spending on the habit. In 2018 I calculated the amount of money that I had spent on alcohol and lottery tickets for the entire year. I had gotten into the habit of purchasing: a weekly ticket, a carton of beer once I had run out and a bottle of wine for my wife.
After I had looked through my bank statements for the year, I spent about $2000 on alcohol and $1000 on lottery tickets. The occasional carton of beer and lottery ticket didn't seem like much, but when this weekly habit was compounded over a year, I was shocked at just how much I had spent.
This revelation got me thinking about what else I could spend my money on.
I had been thinking about purchasing a bike for quite some time and my children we're getting to the age where they needed a proper bike of their own, not the cheap ones from Big W but ones with gears and suspension. Armed with this new information, I could not in all good conscience continue to spend money like this while foregoing important lifestyle enhancing purchases.
Another question that I asked myself was this. Why should I spend money on a temporary state of mind when I could permanently have a new device or gadget that will bring me joy? I still look back on spending that $3000 with regret because I could have redirected that money towards a holiday or a family experience.
This year, my wife and I have redirected this money towards lifestyle enhancing purchases that help us get closer towards our dreams and goals.
Now I/we own:
Every family member has a new bike
A shotgun seat for my bike
A bike rack for the car
A body weight station
A soda stream to help substitute alcohol
My own pair of AirPods
A Rode NT USB microphone for my YouTube videos
IDENTITY BASED HABITS
An important thing to consider when trying to reduce your alcohol consumption is to think of your ideal self:
What would your ideal self-look like?
Where would they be?
What have they managed achieved?
If your ideal self were to walk in the room right now, let us say 5-10 years down the track, what would they say? This is a strategy that I utilised to help gain control over my alcohol addiction. I read about this strategy in High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard and it is also mentioned in Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. In my letter to my future self, I wrote down things that referenced my ideal weight, what I had spent my money on, and how giving up alcohol had allowed me to be more productive.
My letter to my future self also talked about how my children would never see me hungover or vomiting from a night of heavy drinking. When I got my pride involved and how I wanted my children to view their father, it provided me with a powerful reason to make sure that I stuck to what I said and that I had followed through with my intentions. I wanted my children to look at their father with pride and say something like, I remember when dad was able to give up alcohol for a year because he chose to do so. Wow, that thing was hard, but my dad managed to do that, and if my dad can do something like this, then I know that I could do something like that as well.
When I involved my perception of how I view myself as a good parent, I noticed something different with my cravings. The cravings for alcohol began to wane, almost to the point where they have disappeared.
Additionally, I began to see myself as not someone who is trying to give up alcohol BUT as someone who does not drink. For example, when I would decline a drink, instead of saying ‘No thanks I'm trying to give up alcohol.’ I would say ‘Sorry I don't drink alcohol’. A subtle change in how you say something can have a profound effect. The difference between these two sentences is in the semantics, one response is solely relying on motivation and will power alone, and the other is wrapped up in one’s identity with how they see themselves.
Will-power can fail you when you need it the most, but you are less likely to fail if a behaviour is a core part of your identity.
FINAL THOUGHTS
The most important point that I want to impress upon you is this. Do not fall into the trap of thinking “If I cannot do it perfectly, then it’s not worth doing it all.” You are unlikely to change your drinking habit overnight. If you have been wanting to reduce your alcohol consumption, but six months seems too hard to do, then set your sights on a smaller goal that is achievable. It is extremely difficult to give up something so enjoyable, not unless the stakes are incredibly high, like an alcoholic who has developed early signs of cirrhosis of the liver.
Here is a rehash of all the things you can do:
Write down some boundaries that limit your alcohol consumption and then place these boundaries in a visible location.
Do an audit of how much money you spend on alcohol in a year and seriously think about where else that money could go.
Write down a list of lifestyle enhancing purchases that you would like to redirect your money towards instead.
Write a letter to your ideal future self. When writing this letter, make sure you get your pride involved, especially if you have children as that can be a powerful source of motivation
If you have major concerns about your alcohol consumption, then make sure you seek professional help as this blog is only providing advice that is general in nature.
Finally, if you would like to learn more about the books that I have referenced, I have included an Amazon Associates link to them. If you choose to make a purchase, then I earn a small commission that is not included on top of the final price of your purchase.
OTHER BOOKS THAT HELPED ME TO REDUCE MY ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION INCLUDE
Maximum Willpower by Kelly McGonical
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg